{"id":316,"date":"2025-09-03T19:04:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-03T19:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/good-worldwide.go-vip.net\/upworthy\/2025\/09\/03\/biggest-parenting-mistake-ex1\/"},"modified":"2025-09-03T19:04:00","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T19:04:00","slug":"biggest-parenting-mistake-ex1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/2025\/09\/03\/biggest-parenting-mistake-ex1\/","title":{"rendered":"Retired elementary school teacher reveals big way parents are &#8216;messing up&#8217; with their kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers. Not only do they spend all day with kids, but <a href=\"https:\/\/www.upworthy.com\/teachers-share-how-students-are-in-2024-ex1\" target=\"_self\">teachers<\/a> get to know their <a data-linked-post=\"2658475501\" href=\"https:\/\/www.upworthy.com\/students-mental-health-grace\" target=\"_blank\">students&#8217;<\/a> parents pretty well, too. From <a data-linked-post=\"2666874384\" href=\"https:\/\/www.upworthy.com\/teacher-calls-out-parent-denial-of-kids-academic-performance-ex1\" target=\"_blank\">parent-teacher conferences<\/a> to field trips and snack days, it&#8217;s a collaborative relationship meant to foster their child&#8217;s development. (And let&#8217;s be real: what parent hasn&#8217;t <a href=\"https:\/\/trending.upworthy.com\/parents-share-most-embarrassing-talks-they-ve-had-with-teachers-about-their-kids-behavior\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">gotten a call from their child&#8217;s teacher<\/a> to discuss their *questionable* behavior in the classroom?)<\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.upworthy.com\/secret-code-teachers-students-ex1\" target=\"_self\">Teachers<\/a> are full of wisdom about kids, which is why TikToker <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@elenanico22\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">@elenanico22<\/a> interviewed her mom Lisa, a retired elementary school teacher, in an advice video. She asked her mom to share her insights on the question: &#8220;What&#8217;s one thing you saw people messing up with their kids?&#8221;<\/p><p>And her response was simple: &#8220;They didn&#8217;t enjoy them.&#8221; Elena asks her mom to elaborate, and she goes on to share, &#8220;Kids are fun. You\u2019ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that \u2014 most of us aren\u2019t exactly what other people want us to be \u2014 so enjoy the kid you have.&#8221;<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-tiktok wp-block-embed-tiktok\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@elenanico22\/video\/7455096930268417326\" data-video-id=\"7455096930268417326\" data-embed-from=\"oembed\" style=\"max-width:605px; min-width:325px;\"> <section> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"@elenanico22\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@elenanico22?refer=embed\">@elenanico22<\/a> <p>Lisa says it like it is <a title=\"momlife\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momlife?refer=embed\">#momlife<\/a> <a title=\"momsoftiktok\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momsoftiktok?refer=embed\">#momsoftiktok<\/a> <a title=\"momwisdom\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momwisdom?refer=embed\">#momwisdom<\/a> <a title=\"momtok\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momtok?refer=embed\">#momtok<\/a> <a title=\"momhumor\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momhumor?refer=embed\">#momhumor<\/a> <a title=\"parenting\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/parenting?refer=embed\">#parenting<\/a> <a title=\"parentingwisdom\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/parentingwisdom?refer=embed\">#parentingwisdom<\/a> <\/p> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"\u266c original sound - elenanico\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7455096881518119726?refer=embed\">\u266c original sound &#8211; elenanico<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote> <script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n                    <p>Of course, Lisa fully accepted her own daughter, and turns to Elena in the video and says, &#8220;I enjoyed you.&#8221;<\/p><p>And the comments were flooded with positive replies from parents to her response. &#8220;Kids aren\u2019t a chore, they\u2019re a joy.  ,&#8221; one wrote. Another added, &#8220;Parents are stressed, and they don\u2019t realize how quickly childhood goes by.&#8221;<\/p><p class=\"shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image\">        <figure class=\"rkv-rebelmouse\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/good-worldwide.go-vip.net\/qa-upworthy\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2025\/09\/origin-34874.png\" alt=\"mom and son, kids, parents, camily, forest, trees, happy family\" \/><figcaption>A mother with her son on her back.  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.canva.com\/photos\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">via Canva\/Photos<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>                        <\/p><p>The post also resonated with other teachers and professionals who work with kids. &#8220;This is so true. I work in childcare and lots of parents literally cannot stand their kids. They get so angry when we close. They can\u2019t wait to drop them off and pickup last minute. Breaks my heart,&#8221; one commented. Another wrote, &#8220;Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes.&#8221; And another teacher chimed in with, &#8220;So true. As a elementary teacher sometimes playing Barbie Dreamhouse with my 4 y\/o is the last thing I want to do but I always do because I know I&#8217;ll be wishing for it one day \u2665\ufe0f.&#8221; And another professional shared, &#8220;As a pediatrician, I agree.&#8221;<\/p><p>The video concluded with another piece of strong advice from Lisa, who also dropped this nugget: &#8220;Never send your kid to school with carrots.&#8221; The reason? She explained a story involving a prominent doctor at her school who was &#8220;super strict&#8221; with what his kids could and could not eat at school.<\/p><p class=\"shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image\">        <figure class=\"rkv-rebelmouse\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/good-worldwide.go-vip.net\/qa-upworthy\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2025\/09\/origin-34875.png\" alt=\"students, child&#039;s lunch, healthy lunch, lunch table, apple\" \/><figcaption>A little girl enjoying her lunch.  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.canva.com\/photos\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">via Canva\/Photos<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>                        <\/p><p>&#8220;So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn&#8217;t,&#8221; she said. You are bound to have kids who are going to have food issues.&#8221; Psychology backs up the retired teacher&#8217;s thoughts on sending your kids to school with carrots for lunch. It&#8217;s called <a href=\"https:\/\/thedecisionlab.com\/reference-guide\/psychology\/reactance-theory\" target=\"_blank\">reactance theory,<\/a> which states that when people feel their freedom is being restricted, they are more likely to do the opposite of what is being asked of them. So, parents who want to raise healthy kids who turn into healthy adults should allow them to eat treats in moderation. <\/p><p>And plenty of parents offered their thoughts on this. &#8220;Omg I love her! Please post more. As a mom I\u2019m enjoying time with my kids, loving their personalities and so anti food restriction teaching them intuitive eating. Because I wasn\u2019t taught those things,&#8221; one commented. Another shared, &#8220;The food statement is so true. My son shared that a boy from his class (who has food restrictions) steals the other kids snacks at school!  \u2764\ufe0f &#8220;<\/p><p><em>This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She worked with hundreds of kids throughout her career. One huge pattern stuck out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":188269,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"alternative_headline":"","alternative_description":"","alternative_featured_image":0,"rkv_announcement":{"visible":true},"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"partner_boost":false,"hide_partner_badge":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[205,656],"tags":[1088,565,1089,1090,1091,1092,1093,969,1094,313,314,1095],"sponsor":[],"rkv-people-shadow":[216,238],"class_list":["post-316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","category-teachers","tag-alphabet","tag-classroom","tag-enjoying-kids","tag-enjoying-parenting","tag-happy-families","tag-happy-parents","tag-parenting-mistakes","tag-parents","tag-retired-teachers","tag-students","tag-teachers","tag-wise-teachers"],"edit_link":null,"apple_news_notices":[],"rkv_author":{"id":216,"name":"Mark Pygas","display_name":"Mark Pygas","first_name":"","last_name":"","nickname":"","url":"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/author\/mark-pygas\/","link":"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/author\/mark-pygas\/","description":"Mark Pygas is product lead at Distractify.","slug":"mark-pygas","avatar_urls":[],"email":false},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.1 (Yoast SEO v27.1.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Retired elementary school teacher reveals big way parents are &#039;messing up&#039; with their kids - QA Upworthy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/2025\/09\/03\/biggest-parenting-mistake-ex1\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Retired elementary school teacher reveals big way parents are &#039;messing up&#039; with their kids\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She worked with hundreds of kids throughout her career. 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