{"id":83,"date":"2025-09-24T18:49:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-24T18:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/good-worldwide.go-vip.net\/upworthy\/2025\/09\/24\/mom-takes-away-tween-daughter-s-phone-and-tablet-and-notices-immediate-change\/"},"modified":"2025-09-24T18:49:00","modified_gmt":"2025-09-24T18:49:00","slug":"mom-takes-away-tween-daughter-s-phone-and-tablet-and-notices-immediate-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/2025\/09\/24\/mom-takes-away-tween-daughter-s-phone-and-tablet-and-notices-immediate-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Mom takes away tween daughter&#8217;s phone and tablet\u2014and notices &#8220;immediate&#8221; change"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Most kids these days <a href=\"https:\/\/www.upworthy.com\/kids-playing-outside-ex1\" target=\"_blank\">have phones<\/a>. In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.usf.edu\/arts-sciences\/departments\/journalism\/documents\/lims2025\/lims2025.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">a 2025 survey<\/a> conducted by Florida State University on the digital media use of American tweens aged 11-13 years old,  nearly 80% of kids in the age range had a smart phone\u2014with one-third of them reporting they got their first phone by the age of 10.<\/p><p>And while the impacts of phone access for tweens is still being studied, a 2024 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/full\/10.1080\/19452829.2025.2518313\" target=\"_blank\">study<\/a> published in the <em>Journal of Human Development and Capabilities <\/em>found that kids under 13 who owned smartphones reported worse mental health outcomes than those who didn&#8217;t.<\/p><p> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.upworthy.com\/mom-installs-home-phone\" target=\"_blank\">Phone use<\/a> is a common issue many parents navigate with their tweens these days. And a mom with a tween <a href=\"https:\/\/www.good.is\/mom-brings-daughter-to-skate-park-dominated-by-teenage-boys-a-15-year-old-s-words-leave-her-speechless-ex1\" target=\"_blank\">daughter<\/a> (who she says is currently 12 years old going on 13), <a href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/Parenting\/comments\/1nmvodr\/took_my_tweens_phone_ipad_away_and_the_results\/\" target=\"_blank\">shared with fellow parents<\/a> on the subreddit r\/Parenting the major changes she noticed after taking away her daughter&#8217;s phone and tablet access.<\/p><p class=\"shortcode-media shortcode-media-youtube\">        \t\t<div class=\"embed-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<figure class=\"wp-block-embed wp-has-aspect-ratio \"> \n\t\t\t\t<div style=\"background-image:url(https:\/\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/_sRmGU4dSas\/hqdefault.jpg)\" class=\"rkv-video-placeholder \" data-provider=\"youtube\" data-video-id=\"_sRmGU4dSas\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"overlay\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<button aria-label=\"Play video\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg width=\"17\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 17 20\" fill=\"none\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<path d=\"M16.5 9.75047C16.5006 10.0051 16.4353 10.2556 16.3105 10.4775C16.1856 10.6995 16.0055 10.8853 15.7875 11.017L2.28 19.2802C2.05227 19.4196 1.79144 19.4957 1.52445 19.5007C1.25746 19.5056 0.993989 19.4392 0.76125 19.3083C0.530728 19.1794 0.338696 18.9914 0.204904 18.7637C0.0711107 18.536 0.000385179 18.2768 0 18.0127V1.48828C0.000385179 1.22417 0.0711107 0.964934 0.204904 0.737222C0.338696 0.509511 0.530728 0.321545 0.76125 0.192655C0.993989 0.0617322 1.25746 -0.00468706 1.52445 0.0002572C1.79144 0.00520146 2.05227 0.0813301 2.28 0.220781L15.7875 8.4839C16.0055 8.6156 16.1856 8.80145 16.3105 9.0234C16.4353 9.24534 16.5006 9.49582 16.5 9.75047Z\" fill=\"white\"\/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/svg>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t                        <\/p>            <p>She explained, &#8220;Long story short, there was a lot of toxic stuff happening between the kids, and it was all through these huge group chats. They\u2019d be constantly in contact, texting each other, FaceTiming, etc. And the way they spoke to each other wasn\u2019t healthy, it was vulgar and rude under the guise of being quirky.&#8221;<\/p><p>The mom&#8217;s resolution? &#8220;I went nuclear. Immediately had her hand over her devices. Bought an AirTag for her backpack so I can find her when I pick her up from school. The only screen she can use is the living room tv,&#8221; she explained. &#8220;This sounds harsh, but I had previously tried adjusting screen time settings to be more strict and it wasn\u2019t yielding the results I wanted. So a full detox it is.&#8221;<\/p><p>To her shock, she shared how her daughter practically transformed overnight. &#8220;And oh boy, not even 24 hours later I have a totally different kid,,&#8221; she wrote. &#8220;She is out of her bedroom. She wants to be around us! She\u2019s engaging with her little sister and laughing with us. Boredom has been so, so good. And we\u2019re only on day 2 right now. What I thought would feel like a miserable punishment has actually lifted her up and brought her spark back.&#8221;<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-tiktok wp-block-embed-tiktok\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@pagesix\/video\/7533806145601801527\" data-video-id=\"7533806145601801527\" data-embed-from=\"oembed\" style=\"max-width:605px; min-width:325px;\"> <section> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"@pagesix\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@pagesix?refer=embed\">@pagesix<\/a> <p>The Kelce girls will not be reliant on cell phones when they get older. ?: Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce<\/p> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"\u266c original sound - Page Six\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7533806193148480311?refer=embed\">\u266c original sound &#8211; Page Six<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote> <script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n<p>The story resonated with parents and teachers alike, who shared their experiences dealing with tweens and technology use. Another mom shared, &#8220;We&#8217;ve recently had to cut our child&#8217;s screen time too. She&#8217;s a similar age, and was also isolating herself, sullen, bored, angry all the time, etc, and it turned out there were some unideal conversations happening. She&#8217;s like a different kid too. Even playing with her younger siblings! This was all on a school-issued laptop, thankfully her teacher was on board and said she&#8217;d rather her not do her homework if that&#8217;s what was needed. It almost feels like she&#8217;s relieved we took control. We are going to do things so differently from now on.&#8221;<\/p><p>One educator commented, &#8220;As a teacher in a state with the new banned cell laws, I can tell you it is working. I have students participating in class discussions, they are turning work in. They are focused. There are still those who will not work but we had the same type of students when I was a student before cell phones. It\u2019s been a game changer in our district.&#8221;<\/p><p>One parent explained how they plan to address their son&#8217;s tech accessibility, commenting, &#8220;I am planning to get my 11 year old a watch that can text, make calls from the watch, see his location, etc. About the same price as a phone and corresponding plan but fewer of the headaches,&#8221; they wrote.<\/p><p>Other parents offered helpful resources. &#8220;The book <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Anxious-Generation-Rewiring-Childhood-Epidemic\/dp\/0593655036\" target=\"_blank\">The Anxious Generation<\/a><\/em> is a must read for all parents. The research supports taking away smartphones and tablets and social media,&#8221; one added. Another noted, &#8220;Another good one: <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Stolen-Focus-Attention-Think-Deeply\/dp\/0593138511\" target=\"_blank\">Stolen Focus<\/a><\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-instagram wp-block-embed-instagram\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/DA_o9qMSi84\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:500px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\"><div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/DA_o9qMSi84\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; 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font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><\/div><\/blockquote><script async src=\"\/\/platform.instagram.com\/en_US\/embeds.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n<h3>How parents can delegate phone use with tweens<\/h3><p><span><\/span>Many parents are processing how to delegate or cut off phone use with their tweens, deciding what is healthiest and realistic for them.<\/p><p>&#8220;Tweens are at a critical stage where their brains are still developing key skills like self-regulation, patience, and resilience,&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/themomtherapist\/\" target=\"_blank\">Tessa Stuckey<\/a>, MA, LPC, a mental health counselor and founder of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.projectlkup.org\/topics\" target=\"_blank\">LookUp<\/a> (a nonprofit resource to support families facing the growing challenges of screen use and social media), tells <em>Upworthy<\/em>. <\/p><p>She adds that constant access to phones and tablets interferes with that development by &#8220;offering instant gratification, endless comparison, and exposure to content they\u2019re not emotionally ready for. Taking a break allows their brains and bodies to reset\u2014helping them rediscover creativity, real connection, and the ability to tolerate boredom, which is essential for growth.&#8221;<\/p><p>Here are three tips to help you navigate phone use with your tween:<\/p><p><strong>Tip #1: Establish clear boundaries early<\/strong><br \/>Stuckey notes that parents should make it clear from the start that devices are tools, not toys. <\/p><p>&#8220;Set family rules about when, where, and how they can be used\u2014for example, no devices in bedrooms at night and no screens at the dinner table,&#8221; she says. &#8220;By sticking to these rules consistently, kids learn that screens are a privilege, not a right.&#8221;<\/p><p><strong>Tip #2: Replace, don\u2019t just remove<br \/><\/strong>When you cut off screen time, have alternatives ready. <\/p><p>&#8220;Encourage activities that naturally release dopamine and bring joy\u2014like going outside, playing a game, cooking together, or simply letting them get bored,&#8221; says Stuckey. &#8220;This not only makes the transition easier but also teaches them how to regulate without always relying on a device.&#8221;<\/p><p><strong>Tip #3: Use screens intentionally together<\/strong><br \/>Not all screen use is harmful if it\u2019s guided. <\/p><p>&#8220;Watch a show together, look up a recipe, or FaceTime with family\u2014modeling intentional use shows kids the difference between mindless scrolling and purposeful connection,&#8221; Stuckey explains. &#8220;Over time, they\u2019ll learn that the healthiest way to use devices is with balance and purpose.&#8221;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Not even 24 hours later I have a totally different kid.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":187561,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"alternative_headline":"","alternative_description":"","alternative_featured_image":0,"rkv_announcement":{"visible":true},"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"partner_boost":false,"hide_partner_badge":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[208,329],"tags":[2635,2636,2637,1965,769,328,330,333,2638,160,2639,2640,2641,165,2642,2643],"sponsor":[],"rkv-people-shadow":[238],"class_list":["post-83","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-parenting","tag-ipad","tag-kid-phone","tag-kid-technology","tag-mom","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips","tag-phone","tag-phones","tag-tablet","tag-take-away-phone","tag-take-away-tablet","tag-technology","tag-tween","tag-tween-daughter"],"edit_link":null,"apple_news_notices":[],"rkv_author":{"id":238,"name":"Mandy Coles","display_name":"Mandy Coles","first_name":"","last_name":"","nickname":"","url":"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/author\/mandy-coles\/","link":"https:\/\/goodinc.com\/qa-upworthy\/author\/mandy-coles\/","description":"Mandy Coles is a Clinical Associate Professor of Pediatrics and co-director of the Child and Adolescent Trans\/Gender Center for Health at Boston University.","slug":"mandy-coles","avatar_urls":[],"email":false},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.1 (Yoast SEO v27.1.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Mom takes away tween daughter&#039;s phone and tablet\u2014and notices &quot;immediate&quot; 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