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67-year-old woman offers her three super helpful pieces of advice for women in their 50s

“I am going to give you my 17-year advantage viewpoint, okay?”

saving dinner, aging, older women, menopause, perimenopause, life advice, elderly advice, womens health
Photo credit: @savingdinner/InstagramLeanne Ely has some aging advice that's actually great for any age.

We all have a different idea of what “aging gracefully” looks like, but it seems inarguable that we’d all like to get older in a way that feels healthy and fulfilling.

For women especially, helpful advice in this arena can feel hard to come by for a number of reasons. Blame it on historically claiming caretaking roles (and therefore not always acquiring self care skills), societal messaging of “women shouldn’t age, period,” or some other outdated nonsense.

Luckily, a bit of life advice from those who actually have made it to the golden years intact tends to help cut through the noise. New York Times bestselling author and the creator of SavingDinner.com, Leanne Ely just came out with a video with three key pieces of advice for women entering their 50s (especially perimenopausal women) who want to maintain their physical and mental wellbeing.

“If you are 50, I have a word of advice for you. I’m 67. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt,” Ely quipped at the beginning of her clip. “I am post-menopausal now, and so I am going to give you my 17-year advantage viewpoint, okay?”

Without further ado, here’s what Ely suggested:

1. Lift weights

saving dinner, aging, older women, menopause, perimenopause, life advice, elderly advice, womens health
An older woman lifting weights. Photo credit: Canva

“Preserve your bone, do everything in your power to use your body as the strength machine that it is,” Ely explained. “You don’t want to be walking around complaining about your knees or your hip pain or whatever it is.”

“Your body needs to cooperate with your dreams. And the way that you do this is by getting in the best shape of your life. And I am not kidding. Move it or lose it and that goes for your muscles.”

She added that exercise alone can’t accommodate muscle health, and offered the tried-and-true advice of maintaining a balanced diet, saying, “…Feed your body like it is the most important person in your life. Feed it like your baby. Make sure that you’re getting the right amount of protein, that you’re hydrating correctly, and that you are feeding your mind…”

But it’s not just the body that needs to, as Ely put it, “cooperate with your dreams.” Relationships do too, which brings us to…

2. That man is not worth skipping your dreams for

saving dinner, aging, older women, menopause, perimenopause, life advice, elderly advice, womens health
A woman and her supportive (or perhaps unsupportive) partner. Photo credit: Canva

“Do you hear me?” said Ely. “I cannot tell you how many poor relationships I’ve been in and that includes way back then when I was 50. I spent nine years in a relationship with a man who looked down on me, and I didn’t even see it.”

Of course, the best protection against this happening, Ely noted, is having a healthy self-esteem in the first place. Because “when you feel good about yourself and you know yourself, that is gonna trump all of the garbage that any man can throw your way.”

Which brings us to…

3. Be content with yourself

saving dinner, aging, older women, menopause, perimenopause, life advice, elderly advice, womens health
A contentu00a0older woman smiling Photo credit: Canva

“Know who you are. Stand firm in that person of who you are. This is important because you aren’t here to be someone’s second fiddle. You’re not here to be degraded and spoken down to and condescended to and gas lit. You are here on purpose and for purpose. You are a human being and you are important. Just as you are. Without ever doing anything, you’re here on purpose and for purpose and think about what that means. That means that you came to this earth because you were needed to be here on this earth and your purpose maybe it is yet to be found. But I do know this, if you work towards something that you love, you will find your purpose.”

This last one is a lesson so many of us take a lifetime to learn regardless of how many times we hear it, but always a good reminder.

Unsurprisingly, Ely’s video quickly racked up over 60,000 views and a flood of comments thanking her for her truly sage wisdom.

For many, it harkened back to a time when we were actually able to seek out advice like this from older women.

“This is why so many ancient cultures revered older women as the wise goddesses they are. Perfect advice. 56 here and these words grow stronger every day. ”

Thank you for sharing! We as Gen X women need more older women role models like this. The “little frail old lady” stereotype was everywhere in our culture when we were growing up—no wonder we’re kinda scared to age. But here is a woman who is strong and vibrant and more self assured as she ages. I’m inspired! ✨

Others shared how they were already taking some of this advice, particularly tip #1—and reaping the benefits from it.

“65 year old here, I started adult ballet at 50 and can confirm that it changed my life. Now, 15 years later I take 4 classes per week; 2 of them are Pointe classes, something I never thought in my wildest dreams I would accomplish. I’m in the absolute best shape of my life. Doing splits and back bends, lifting weights and ensuring adequate protein intake to maintain my passion for ballet. It’s been a life changer for my health, my mental wellbeing and my soul.”

“You are SO right!! I began putting priority on my work outs around age 54. I am 59 now. I feel as strong and healthy as when I was 35. People are commenting about me aging in reverse. Yes skin scare matters. But truly it is the work out!!! It is the protein and healthy diet. You are SO right! ✨ ✨”

It probably goes without saying, but this is clearly great advice for any stage of life. Then again, the best advice is usually timeless.

  • ‘Fear-setting’: How a bestselling author conquers anxiety by writing down worst nightmares
    Photo credit: Credit: George KaoTim Ferriss is teaching a masterclass in achieving your goals.
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    ‘Fear-setting’: How a bestselling author conquers anxiety by writing down worst nightmares

    To conquer fear, one must define it, entrepreneur Tim Ferriss says.

    What if I told you the secret to success isn’t setting goals—but setting fears?

    In a world obsessed with vision boards and goal-setting apps, bestselling author Tim Ferriss is dropping truth bombs that flip conventional wisdom on its head: “Defining your fears is more important than defining your goals.”

    What?

    This simple shift in perspective helped Ferriss change his life—and countless others—to break free from paralysis and take the bold actions he’d been dreaming about for years.

    Welcome to the life-changing practice of fear-setting—a monthly ritual that could be the missing piece in your personal development puzzle.

    Why our fears keep us stuck (and how to turn them into fuel)

    Picture this: You’re lying in bed at 3 a.m., your mind racing about that “risky” career change you’ve been contemplating for years. The voice in your head whispers all the myriad ways it could go wrong—financial ruin, professional embarrassment, that meme of Marnie from Girls where she says, “Let’s make fun of the girl who took a risk and put herself out there creatively.” What if that were you?

    Here’s the funny thing about fear: it’s a master manipulator. Fear warps our thinking, causing our brains to exaggerate potential disasters while overlooking the cost of staying stuck. Before long, we become prisoners of our own imagination, suffering more in our minds than we would in real life.

    But what would happen if we could flip the script? Instead of running from our fears, we could cut them open and realize that the monster we’ve been running from all this time was nothing more than a stack of clothes, piled up on a chair.

    Enter Tim Ferriss’ fear-setting exercise—a systematic approach to transforming paralyzing anxiety into empowering action.

    The 7 questions that changed everything

    Tim Ferriss is an all-American multi-hyphenate: he’s an entrepreneur, author, podcaster, and one of the most influential figures in today’s productivity and lifestyle design space. Wired called him “the Superman of Silicon Valley.” His multi-faceted empire includes five #1 New York Times bestsellers, including The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers. Ferriss also hosts the eponymous The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, the first business/interview podcast to exceed 100 million downloads. (It has now exceeded one billion downloads, by the way.)


    In short, this is a person who knows a thing or two about high achievement.

    Tim Ferriss revealed that he dedicates up to half an hour each month to confronting his fears head-on through seven critical questions. It’s a thorough and rational dissection of what scares him the most.

    Question 1: What’s your nightmare?

    Define your nightmare. What is the absolute worst that could happen if you followed through with what you’re considering?

    Get specific. Avoid writing broad fears, such as “failure.” Remember, this is an activity designed to let your brain go into full disaster mode: use your creativity and imagination.

    For example, you want to start painting, even though you know nothing about it and are “too old” to begin a new hobby. But what would happen if you took a class or started going to museums more often? Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?

    People start pointing and staring at you, the most out-of-touch person ever to exist? Your teacher comes to look at your work and starts laughing uncontrollably? Write it all down in painful detail. Then Ferriss advises, rate the permanent impact scale on a scale of 1-10. You’ll often discover that your worst-case scenarios aren’t life-ruiners—or, not even likely to happen at all.

    Then, ask yourself: Would it be the end of your life? Are these things really permanent? How likely would they actually happen?

    Question 2: How could you repair the damage?

    If the very worst were to happen, how could you rebuild, even temporarily? Could you get your money back from the art institution? Leave a scathing review on Yelp? Go into therapy for your troubles? Often, we discover that the road to recovery is more possible than we imagined.

    Question 3: What are the benefits of trying?

    Ask yourself, what are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more likely scenarios?

    Fear-setting turns into sunsetting. Let’s change it up: even if you don’t achieve complete success (ex., your art teacher tears up when reviewing your first painting project and suggests someone should hang it in the Louvre), what could you gain just from putting yourself out there? New skills, confidence, friends, experiences?

    Now, rate these benefits on a scale of 1 to 10 as well. Compare these with the numbers you provided in question #1. Are you shelving your dreams, a potential 9 (!), just because of an unrealistic fear that you rated a 3?

    Question 4: What if you were starting over today?

    If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control?

    Imagine this scenario and run through questions 1-3 above. If you quit your job to test other opportunities, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?

    This question isn’t fear-mongering (remember, this is fear-setting.) It builds resilience by reminding you of your resourcefulness. Could you freelance? Take a part-time job? Sell possessions? You’re more capable of handling setbacks than you think.

    Question 5: What are you putting off out of fear?

    “Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do,” Ferriss rationalizes. “A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

    That phone call. A difficult conversation. That creative project. Fear of the unknown often prevents us from taking the very actions that could transform our lives. Define the worst-case scenario, accept it: then do it. Promise yourself to do one thing every single day that you fear.

    Question 6: What’s the cost of doing nothing?

    What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action?

    This may be the most crucial question of all, says Ferriss. If you don’t pursue what excites you, where will you be in one year? Five years? Ten years? Inaction is the most significant risk of all.

    Question 7: Well, what are you waiting for?

    “If you cannot answer this without resorting to the concept of “good timing,” the answer is simple: You’re afraid, just like the rest of the world,” writes Ferriss.

    In that case, it’s time to start again: Measure the cost of inaction. Realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps. Develop the most critical action of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.

    man, journaling, success, fear, setting
    Fear-setting once a month can change your life. Photo credit: Canva

    The psychology behind why fear-setting works

    Fear-setting is rooted in Stoic philosophy, specifically, the practice of premeditatio malorum: deliberately imagining potential hardships to reduce their psychological impact. Modern psychology confirms what the Stoics knew all along: when we define our fears with specificity, they lose their power over us.

    Here’s why this approach is so practical:

    It manages catastrophic thinking. Vague fears can feel like an ocean: overwhelming and impenetrable. However, specific fears are manageable.

    It reveals our hidden resilience. Most people underestimate their ability to recover from setbacks.

    It exposes the actual cost of inaction. No one likes losing or embarrassing themselves, but fear is a funny thing: we often ignore the losses that come from not acting.

    Your action plan: 30 minutes that could change your life

    “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” —Mark Twain.

    Ready to try fear-setting yourself? Set aside 30 minutes this week. Grab a notebook and work through the seven questions above. Push yourself to be brutally honest: this exercise only works if you’re willing to confront your fears directly.

    Tim Ferriss has used this exact process to make significant decisions in his life. And remember that lengthy paragraph earlier? Things turned out pretty well for him.

    So, what do you have to lose? Apparently, the answer is “quite a lot.” Track down your favorite pen and get to fear-setting. Your future self thanks you.

  • Doctor’s unique ‘4-7-8’ relaxation technique could help you fall asleep on-demand
    Photo credit: via Andrea Piacquadio/PexelsThe 4-7-8 technique can help you fall asleep.

    Here’s a rhetorical, but important question: Are you having a hard time falling asleep? If so, you’re not the only one. Falling and staying asleep typically becomes more difficult as adults get older. We spend less time in deep sleep and REM sleep, and we struggle to fight off our worries and anxieties while lying in silence. Did you know there’s actually a name for the phenomenon where you keep yourself awake by lying there and wondering why you’re still awake? It’s called “spectatoring” and it’s incredibly frustrating.

    Worse yet, the older we get the more likely we are to wake in the night and have trouble falling back asleep. This is why more and more Americans are turning to white noise, melatonin, meditation apps, special pillows, and anything they think can help them get most rest.

    Fortunately, a doctor has shared the “most powerful” relaxation technique he knows, and it doesn’t require any equipment or cost a dime.


    sleep, dr. andrew weil, fall asleep fast, relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, calm, anxiety, science, meditation
    Ever stare at the clock and repeatedly wonder why you can't fall asleep? It's called Photo by Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash

    Dr. Andrew Weil has dubbed it the 4-7-8 method and it’s backed up by science.

    Dr. Weil is an expert in integrative medicine and the founder and director of the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona.

    The technique is simple:

    1. Breathe in through your nose while you count to 4.
    2. Hold your breath while you count to 7.
    3. Exhale while you count to 8.

    It’s a unique protocol, especially when compared to another popular technique like Box Breathing. Box Breathing calls for an inhale, hold, exhale, and another hold of equal time (4 seconds). The extended exhale, in particular, is what makes Dr. Weil’s 4-7-8 so original.

    Here’s Dr. Weil explaining his method:

    Dr. Weil says the method creates a “very pleasant, altered state of consciousness” that you may not experience the first time but will come as a “reward” of regular practice. Dr. Weil insists that the 4-7-8 technique is a practice, and you must do four breath cycles at least twice a day to get the benefits. “After a month, you can increase to 8 breath cycles if you’re comfortable with it,” adding that’s the “absolute maximum.”

    Dr. Weil says that 4 to 6 weeks of doing the practice can lower heart rate, improve blood pressure, digestion and circulation and can promote sleep. A study published in Physiological Reports agrees, saying that practicing the 4-7-8 technique reduces heart rate and blood pressure for several minutes. It’s important to note, though, that research is limited on the longterm benefits of 4-7-8 and experts urge us not to overhype it as more than it is.

    4-7-8 is also an easy, fast, and effective way to help you fall asleep.


    sleep, dr. andrew weil, fall asleep fast, relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, calm, anxiety, science, meditation
    Deep, intentional breathing may jumpstart melatonin production, helping us sleep. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

    “If you get up in the middle of the night for any reason, it is the most effective anti-anxiety technique that I’ve found,” Dr. Weil says.

    Deep breathing, interestingly enough, has been shown to increase melatonin production in our bodies; that’s the hormone that signals to our body that it’s time to sleep. Combined with its ability to calm our mind and body, it’s no wonder that intentional breathing exercises can put us to sleep in no time.

    Why does deep breathing help us calm down and relax so effectively? There are a few reasons. First, when we’re stressed or anxious, our breathing naturally becomes more shallow and irregular. Breaking that anxious breath pattern signals to our body that things are OK, that we’re in control. Counting and being mindful of our breath also gives our mind something neutral to focus on instead of the usual chaotic images, intrusive thoughts, or worries. Third, deep breath settles down the part of our nervous system that controls our “fight-or-flight” response — and helps with elevated heart rate and muscle tension.

    Remember again that 4-7-8 breathing is a practice. It can be used situationally to great effect, but for the best benefits its founder urges you to try it every single day for a cycle of 2-8 cycles.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Woman has cyst removed and is shocked to learn it had teeth, hair, and maybe even an eyeball
    Photo credit: Canva Photos & E.dronism – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0Woman lying in hospital bed

    The human body is fascinating and, to this day even, full of mysteries. Did you know there’s a condition called Stoneman Syndrome where a person’s ligaments slowly transform into bones? Or how about Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome where a person lives their entire life on the brink of orgasm? Or how about Auto-brewery Syndrome, where a person’s gut biome naturally creates alcohol out of normal foods and beverages, thereby making them intoxicated without drinking a drop of booze?

    The body is capable of extraordinary and extremely bizarre things, that’s for sure.

    That was certainly the case when 20-year-old Savannah Stuthers went in for a relatively routine cyst removal that turned out to be anything but.


    teratoma, ovarian cyst, women's health, viral TikTok, Savannah Stuthers, medical story, patient advocacy, tumor with teeth, health education, gynecology
    A female patient speaks with her doctor Canva

    Stuthers dealt with months of cramps, pain, and even bleeding—which doctors told her was normal after having an IUD inserted—before she couldn’t take it anymore and took herself to the emergency room.

    There, ER docs discovered a sizable cyst on one of her ovaries. Because the cyst was so large, the OBGYN at the hospital wanted to have it removed as soon as possible. Within a few days, Stuthers went under the knife.

    When she woke up from the anesthesia, the doctors had news. Her mom was there to capture the moment Stuthers heard that what was removed from her body was no normal ovarian cyst. It was a teratoma—a unique kind of tumor that grows from germ cells (cells that eventually become sperm or, in Stuthers’ case, eggs). Because of their origin, teratomas frequently grow hair and even teeth, along with various kinds of tissue. The teratoma inside Stuthers’ ovary had all that, and more… The surgeons even thought Stuther’s teratoma may have had an eyeball! (Later testing ruled this out… close call!)

    Here’s the exact moment Savannah Stuthers learned what had been growing inside of her:

    Savannah Struthers was horrified to learn that her cyst was actually not a cyst at all. TikTokStuthers posted the photo on TikTok where it went mega-viral to the tune of 34 million views. The morbid curiosity in the comment thread was absolutely off the charts. Many people had never heard of teratomas before, and most of them wish they still hadn't.

    Stuthers posted the photo on TikTok where it went mega-viral to the tune of 34 million views. The morbid curiosity in the comment thread was absolutely off the charts. Many people had never heard of teratomas before, and most of them wish they still hadn’t.

    “Girl I could have went my entire life without looking up what a teratoma is,” one wrote.

    “I just looked at photos of teratomas and it made my arm get chills,” a user added.

    “it’s crazy the body can actually create new eyes and teeth and THIS is what it chooses to use that ability for,” said another.

    Other commenters were just here to applaud the teratoma representation:

    “this happened to me, they removed my ovary with the teratoma and my surgeous said it burst on her I was the first surgery of the day”

    “this happened to my sister but there were brain cells in hers, causing her anti bodies to fight off both the teratoma braincells as well as her actual braincells putting her in a coma for 4 months. it was awful.”

    Of course, there were plenty of jokes, too:

    “Why am I picturing Mike Wazoski from Monsters Inc???” one user said.

    “Can we see it? ❌ Can it see us? ✅” joked another.

    Mostly, people just wanted to know if they could see a picture of the actual teratoma. Stuthers did eventually show a photo briefly in a follow up video, but luckily for us, we can get a better look at these things through a plethora of high-res online images.

    Ready? If you’re squeamish, you might want to look away now.

    teratoma, ovarian cyst, women's health, viral TikTok, Savannah Stuthers, medical story, patient advocacy, tumor with teeth, health education, gynecology
    A teratoma with lots and lots of hair growth. Ed Uthman, MD. – Public DomainStuthers was not about to let her newfound virality go to waste: She set right to work busting myths and misconceptions about teratomas.Obviously, with 34 million viewers and many who had never heard of teratomas, she was going to get a lot of questions. She also got a lot of opinions that needed correcting.

    Stuthers was not about to let her newfound virality go to waste: She set right to work busting myths and misconceptions about teratomas.

    Obviously, with 34 million viewers and many who had never heard of teratomas, she was going to get a lot of questions. She also got a lot of opinions that needed correcting.

    “Those things form from sperm so tell your man to get a better pull out game or use protection,” one commenter said. In a response video, Stuthers simply wags her finger: Uh, no. Teratomas form from germ cells, which can turn into sperm, but they have nothing at all to do with sexual activity.

    Another asked if the teratoma formed from a pregnancy gone wrong in the early stages. “So you would’ve maybe had a viable pregnancy but it didn’t make it down into the uterus.” Stuthers responded by citing that teratomas are actually congenital tumors, meaning they are present or begin forming prior to birth. So this was lurking in her body for a long time bef
    ore it reached critical mass and had to be removed, and again, has nothing to do with her sexual activity whatsoever.

    (Sorry, one more photo incoming.)

    teratoma, ovarian cyst, women's health, viral TikTok, Savannah Stuthers, medical story, patient advocacy, tumor with teeth, health education, gynecology
    An ovarian teratoma with a long strand of visible hair. E.dronism – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0

    In an interview with Newsweek, Stuthers said that discovering the teratoma inside of her made her feel “gross.”

    “It messed me up for a while thinking about how I never knew that it was there. In a way, it made me feel gross. The photo of the tumor truly altered my brain chemistry,” she said. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Teratomas, while admittedly a little freaky and frightening, are really no different than any other kind of tumor. It’s their origin from germ cells which makes them capable of growing human tissue, teeth, hair, and eyeball-like structures.

    But they’re understandably hard to talk about. And so as a result, the general public doesn’t understand teratomas very well. But Stuthers is working to change that with her follow-up videos on TikTok.

    She also wants to encourage young women to advocate for themselves medically. Doctors dismissed her pain and discomfort for months before she finally went to the ER, and she’s urging women to trust their gut and fight for their own bodies:

    “I got lucky as we found it in time so nothing too extreme happened. But I can’t help but think that if my doctors in Illinois would’ve listened, I would still have both ovaries. It is so important for women to express our pain and not allow doctors to invalidate us.”

    This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

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