How do parents teach their tweens and teens about using social media safely? How do they make sure they don’t miss out on what is a major fixture of their social life, but still teach them the skills needed to navigate all those icky things that make social media a mental hellscape? Not to mention doing it all while still not having fully figured it out as adults?
It’s a conundrum indeed, but a crucial one for modern day parents to tackle. Thankfully, educator, entrepreneur, and fellow mom Jamie Sea came up with a brilliant idea to help parents cover their bases in a way that’s both neuroscience-oriented and tween-friendly.
She calls it her “Social Media Prep School.”
Sea’s Social Media Prep School is something she originally came up with for her 11-year-old daughter, who will no doubt be entering onto the apps in a few years time. But before that, Sea wants to, “Prepare her for everything: how to not let any kind of comments affect her, how to believe in herself, how to show up in the most amazing way.”
First lesson: how the brain filters before commenting.
Holding up an image of a brain, Sea adeptly breaks down pretty heady concepts in a way that her daughter can understand. Using the example of posting a dance video, Sea tells her daughter:
“When somebody sees the dance video, what they’re going to do is they’re going to see, and then it’s going to go through all of these sensations: the way that they see, hear, feel, touch, smell, all of that. And it’s going to go through all of their own past experiences. So everything that they’ve ever been told about dancing and themselves, it’ll go through what they believe about the world, if they think dancing is good or bad or silly or stupid. How they’re feeling in that moment, like if they’re tired or cranky or they just had a bad day or someone just yelled at them, right?”
After making sure her kiddo gets the concept, Sea goes on to explain how these factors can make a person send a not-so-positive comment, like “That’s so cringy.” Regardless of why the comment is made, none of them actually have anything to do with her daughter or her dancing, but instead reflect their internal perspective. And since they don’t see her as a person, just an image on a screen, it makes it “easy for them to just comment on.”
Sea then takes it a step further. Grabbing some glasses, she demonstrates how someone can see the world (literally, in this case) through a different lens. Again, these lenses are created by, “Past experiences, how they’re feeling, their beliefs, what they’ve been told growing up, how they feel about themselves,” she says.
If someone wants what another person has, they might be looking through “jealousy” lenses. People hurting might see and communicate through “hurt” lenses, and so on.
Finally, Sea introduces the concept of what she calls “The Magic Mirror,” basically teaching her daughter what projection is.
Going back to the scenario of someone making the “dancing is…so cringy” comment through a “hurt” lens, Sea asks her daughter to “imagine” that the comment is actually mirroring back a message to the person who wrote it.
“They’re actually not saying that to you. They’re saying that to themselves.”
And that’s just video one! In subsequent videos, Sea also teaches her daughter why negative comments can still hurt, despite knowing all the aforementioned information (spoiler alert: it’s the nervous system), as well as what to do about it—including body awareness, calming breathing exercises, and reflective practices.
If you’re thinking, “Holy cow, this is an amazing idea,” you’re not alone. Down in the comments, people were floored (and inspired) by Sea’s thorough approach.
“I would totally pay for a lesson with pdfs to help me navigate this conversation with my kiddos.”
“This was incredible! I am a therapist for adolescents and this is exactly what I help teach my kids when they are having anxious thoughts. I hope a ton of parents see this video and learn how to explain this to their kids.”
Others wistfully noted how even adults could benefit from this type of education.
“I just took this whole class, and I’m 38.”
“This is such good timing because I just got a bunch of hate comments on a video! Thank you!”
We could all stand to learn social media literacy, but especially young developing minds. This is such a clever way to give them vital skills for thriving in today’s world, plus teaching them cool, nerdy words like “amygdala.” Talk about covering your bases.
If you’d like to keep up-to-date with Sea’s Social Media Prep School, give her a follow here.
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